Fears.....

I have always been a really busy person. Always working hard and long hours and "sucking it up" and working through anything. One of my biggest fears is not being able to do things myself. I guess you could call me a "control freak". I love to work and I take pride in all that I do. I love my job and my family but most of all I love being a mother & a wife. What will happen now? Imagine for a moment that all the little things you take for granted were ripped out from under you. What would you do? Little things like standing at the stove and cooking, standing to fold the laundry, or even standing in the shower.......what if you couldn't do those things without feeling dizzy and your heart beating so fast it feels like it will bust out of your chest at any minute, and most times you pass out. That is my day to day life now. I can't even work a full day anymore. I am trying my hardest to make it until the end of May so I can train 2 people to take over for me but it is a daily struggle just to get out of bed.

Okay, enough of the self pity. Life is what you make of it. You get up everyday and put one foot in front of the other and make it count. That's what my focus is now, making it count. Even if all I can do in one day are 2 loads of laundry and a load of dishes then at least I got that finished. God has something in store for me and I believe I am to learn a valuable lesson from all of this. Day by day is all we can do.....