Hospital Again

My wonderful husband took this horrible picture of me while I was waiting for yet another test to be done on me.  I was in the hospital for possible colitis so I had 2 days of antibiotics, fluids, and tests as well as pain control.  My husband loves me so much but he thought it would be funny to take pictures while I was waiting for Anesthesia doctor to come and put me to sleep. (even though I looked like death warmed over) 

When you have a chronic illness you take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.  This gets so very frustrating and you can loose your mind if chose to concentrate on the future instead of living day by day.  I choose to live day by day because if I don't I will get lost in the depression and pain.

The reality is that you will not get much better.  Think about that for just one minute.  If there were a time when you were sick or had to have a surgery done and you were off work for a week or two while you recuperated think of that time.  You had hope that you were going to get well and get back to your normal life so you really didn't get too upset over having your life altered.  Well for me (and everyone with chronic illness) the hope of being able to return to the "normal" way of life is not there.  Kinda depressing isn't it?!  

Here is my fix for the above:

I have found a way to live in a "spiritual" everyday existence.  One where I spend most of my time with God.  I pray, read my Bible, study books to help me draw closer to God, and counting all the things I am thankful for.  Living this way has helped me so much.  I choose Faith over sorrow.  

Psalm 63:7

"Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings."