"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong"
2 Corinthians 12:10

Thursday, July 12, 2012

On my knees

The church my family went to when I was young was on my mind today.  I was reading my morning Bible study and for some reason the memory of being in that church and everyone on their knees praying popped into my mind.  Every time the pastor, or anyone, prayed the whole congregation would bow to their knees.  That is the way I was taught to pray.  Our church would also wash each others feet when we would have our monthly communion. I know that might sound a bit strange but the church did the things Jesus and his disciples did on the night of the last supper.  

As I have gotten older I have stopped praying on my knees.  We pray sitting, standing and with our heads bowed.  Is that how you pray?  At night I just pray silently in my head while laying on my pillow and trying not to fall asleep. I am ashamed to say that I have gotten very lax in my prayer life, before my illness.  Now, I am compelled to pray on my knees and sometimes flat on my face.  I feel the need to bow low and be humble when I talk with my Lord Jesus Christ. I also pray "out loud" instead of silently to myself. What I have found is this, when we humble ourselves this way our hearts and minds are open wide and The Holy Spirit will fill all of your "soul holes".  This is the way I pray now.  Try is sometime, you will feel so much closer to God.  I like this saying: "The only way up is down"


Sunday, July 8, 2012

July 4th

We had such a great time in Northern Arkansas at my husbands Grandmother's.  She lives by the Buffalo River and she has a bunch of land so the boys & Cory rode 4 wheelers every day.  I stayed in the house with Cayden since the heat makes me pass out and messes with my heart.  Me and Cayden had fun though.  I love that little guy.  He is so perfect. (yes I could just be a little partial. :-) 

 He has such a sweet personality.  He smiles all the time and hardly ever cries.  You would think the little guy would just be so unhappy because of his horrible start to his life.  Being born at 28 weeks gestation, suffering 2 brain bleeds, brain damage, pulmonary bleed, and being on a vent for the first 2 months of his life.  He has scars all over his hands, wrists, arms, feet, and legs from all the IV's and PIC lines that were in him to save his life.  God has truly given us such a great blessing when he gave us Cayden.

My point to all of this is not to whine about Cayden.  My point is that we all have hard things we go through in our lives.  Season's that just knock us in a pit so deep and dark we don't know what to do.  God knows what we need and he always puts people in our lives that help lead us out of the pit.  Lord knows I have had lots of bough ts with self pity.  When we constantly think of how horrible our situation is we are missing out on all the miracles going on around us.  Cayden is my miracle.  If this tiny, sweet baby can push himself hard everyday doing therapy, struggling to drink a bottle because he aspirates so easy then I can push through all my pain and self pity.  

If there is no one in your life that inspires you to be better I encourage you to let yourself out there and find someone.  You can both encourage each other!!! Don't miss out on community and others who are going through rough times just like you are.  You won't be sorry you did.