Wednesday, November 2, 2011
So Many Bad Seasons
This bad season in my life has lasted so much longer than I wanted it to. The sickness overtakes my body, mind, and spirit. It is always present even in sleep. I wake up often in the night in pain, with my heart racing, or just to run to the bathroom. There is never a break from it. I am reminded of my limitation every time I try to do the simplest things. There is no end in sight.
I have another diagnosis to add to the long list of chronic illness's. It's called lymphocytic colitis. Wikipedia says it is a rare condition characterized by chronic non-bloody diarrhea. The colonoscopy is normal but the mucosal biopsy reveals an accumulation of lymphocytes in the colonic epithelium and connective tissue. The cause of this condition is not known and the outlook is unclear in persons with this condition. I call it a walking hell. Sigh........if it is "rare" then it looks like I am going to have it. My doctor thinks it is linked with the EDS (hence the connective tissue problems). She also says that all we can do is treat the symptoms as they present themselves. Hmmm, that must mean that I will always have to wear adult diapers when I leave my home due to the CONSTANT potty trot's that I have. (that was probably way too much information for you all but I'm on a roll) I can't express just how tired I am of being sick.
I pray so hard for God to heal me. I know he can if he wants to. This bad season in my life will end eventually, right? I have hope that it will end but deep in my heart I don't think it will. I just have to keep praying and reading my Bible and leaning on God's shoulders. He will take care of me and he is the only one who can carry me through this very long season of sickness.
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."